like a dream, like a sigh
by clouded soul
Summary: All Shoshana wanted was to stay popular and admired, certainly not turn into a big, furry wolf! When Embry imprints on her, can she accept what fate has had planned for her or will she deny her own happy ending for what she thinks is his? Embry x OC
1. chchchchanges

**like a dream like a sigh**

chapter one_._

_A/N: This story is rated T, mainly for language and implications (teenage boys are prevalent in the wolf pack, let's be realistic). Some chapters may be more M-rated, but warnings will be present and they will be optional reading.  
_

_"Feel so warm, sun fire, sun fire..."_

I love this song: Not so tough found out by Copeland. I am lying in my bed, letting the crooning words wash over me, willing the gentle, majestic song to chill me the fuck out.

Danielle and Liza and Katie and all the other girls who I hang out with would despise it. It's too slow, too boring, not popular enough. Cliché as it is, that's how we operate. Gotta be cool, gotta be "in." _C'est la vie._ I don't care. We might not have blonde hair or ever look good with it like them white girls do, but dammit we are _popular._ All my life that's all I've wanted to be. There are girls who are popular because they are naturally sweet and funny and gorgeous, but not everyone has that natural magnetism. Some of us, myself and most of my friends included, have to _work_ to maintain a good rep. We ain't perfect, but we sure as hell try to be.

I'm sweating like a pig. But I'm not. I just feel like I am. My skin is on _fire._ Again, not literally, but it sure feels like it. It's a rainy day, per usual, La Push isn't known for white sand beaches and sunshine but it'd be pretty damned nice if it was. My window is wide open. I decide that today I don't mind the dampness outside, the cool air is pure heaven. I want to drown myself in it. I need to style my hair. Usually on the weekends I give my hair and skin a break, go all natural and hide from the outside world, but if I wimp out this time on Katie and Melissa I'm quite sure that I won't be held in as high of esteem as usual. I need to _do_ something. Fever or not, I need to suck it up and deal. Good friends mean good connections. Katie's dad has friends at an auto dealership in Seattle. She says she can hook us all up with good prices on some of their cars. Melissa's mom is an attorney. She's always helped us girls out when we weren't so straight-and-narrow and we're still on track for good educations with our good grades and squeaky-clean records... she's good.

Acquaintances can't ask for favors. _Trusted friends_ can. But you don't get to _trusted friend_ status without actually seeing your so-called trusted friend.

Within an hour, my hair is perfectly straight and my clothing is immaculate. While I lack designer clothes, I consider myself thrifty. I get enough compliments to feel some confidence, though I would _kill_ for a good Abercrombie & Fitch ensemble. Again, cliché, but every stereotype has some truth in it, no?

Knocking on the door.

One thing about living in rural-ish areas means that you won't find many mansions (although I've heard rumors there's one in _Forks_, but I don't go there much so I wouldn't know for sure. I think it's an exaggeration. It's probably just a house a teeny bit bigger than average.) and so I can easily hear if someone's at the door.

I walk into the "hall," which would be our kitchen, dining room, and living room area.

"I'll get it!" My mom's gravelly voice calls from the couch. She isn't fooling anyone. She only gets up to look in the fridge for another beer or Mike's Hard Lemonade, or to phone my older brother to pick up a few six-packs for her to replenish her stock. She always says she'll pay him back. She never does. When I reach for the door handle, I realize my hands are shaking. I run them through my hair, instantly regretting it for fear of mussing it too much, before taking a deep breath and opening the door.

"Shoshana!" Katie's bubbly voice greets me. Of course _her_ hair is flawlessly straight, shimmering and luxurious. Her dark skin is lovely, her even darker eyes more so. It's hard to be envious, though, with her big, naïve smile.

"Katie!" I don't call her "Kate" as I sometimes do, since she didn't call me "Sho."

"Hey, Sho." Melissa calls, sitting in the driver's seat of the old station wagon that her mom has. Usually Katie uses her small pickup, but I guess Mel is trying to get more trust from her mother after a recent incident at a bonfire that I swore never to speak of again.

"Mel!" Katie drags me by the sleeve of my denim coat all the way down our dirt driveway, chattering about the movie that we are going to see.

"Brrr," Katie says, half-jokingly, clutching her bare arms and gesturing to my coat. "I'm so jealous. I wish I would've thought to do that. It's getting colder!"

"Cold? It's not cold," I say, only half-paying attention. I shrug out of the "vintage" denim, holding the thin jacket to her. "Here. You can borrow it, if you want." It's a simple thing, but I feel Melissa's eyes on me, feel some kind of strange anxiety. It's like a test. Have we drifted apart since I haven't been doing as much as I should be? Friendship is work in our world.

"Really? Thanks! You're the best, _fo Sho._" I crack a grin at that, before sliding in to the seat next to her. It's got a back, but we usually never sit back there because of all the debris –

"Sho, meet David. He's that guy I was telling you about the other day." I don't remember that, but I nod all the same and peek over Katie's shoulder at the guy. He has too wide a nose for my taste, too small of eyes. His gaze is appraising, which bothers me, especially because of the adoring look on Melissa's face. He just wants in her pants. A shiver, a bad kind of shiver, runs through my spine.

"Whoa, Shoshana, you okay?"

"Yeah," I say, automatically, nodding my head at David and then Thomas, Kate's boyfriend, before leaning against the door to give the other two girls their space again. "I'm fine." And I come up with a convincing smile, and that was that.

* * *

The movie is so _stupid!_ I'm fuming by the time the credits roll, struggling so damned hard to keep the irritation from my face. Kate was focused wholeheartedly on the film, obviously having a much different opinion on it than me, much to her boyfriend's dismay. Meanwhile, Melissa and David are too busy swapping spit to know what's going on.

"Movie's over, lovebirds." I say to them as I make my way out of the aisle, not waiting for anyone. I feel wild, I feel out of control. I feel like I just ran twenty miles and am still ready for more.

When we go to the parking lot and are searching for where we parked, _God, I hate how many cars are in Seattle_, Melissa looks at me, seemingly struggling to find the words for a second. Or two. Well, more like five.

"Do you... do you think..."

"You want me to drive?"

She flushes and I want to gag. Instead, I shrug. _Get a grip of yourself, Shoshana Marie. _I just want to curl up in bed, I just want to punch someone in the face. I don't even know. "Okay. As long as I can turn the radio up. Full volume." She nods, before sidling back up to David after she tosses me the keys.

This is gonna be a fun ride. Not.

* * *

It's not that bad once I have the radio on (only the most mainstream of songs, of course, with thumping bass beats and breathy noises and meaningless lyrics), so at least I don't have to hear them.

Except... I kind of do.

Even at full volume, when my hair is practically moving with each blast of sound and the car is trembling (not unlike my hands and arms and legs and _being_) on its tires, I can hear them making out in the back seat. Really. Had they no class? If I had a boyfriend... I'd want some fucking privacy. My knuckles are white, the steering wheel feels like it's on the verge of breaking.

A shudder rips through me and we go careening to the right, prompting shrieks from the back seat of kisses interrupted.

"SORRY!" I shout, heart pounding as I narrowly avoid sending us in a ditch. "THERE WAS A DOG!" I lie, but it's not like they would have been watching the road enough to know that. _Fuck, fuck, FUCK!_ What is _wrong_ with me?

I'm breathing hard, feeling like I'm on the verge of crying and screeching and shouting and...

I need to pull over. _I need to pull over. _I don't know if I'm going to puke or if I'm going to _die_, all I know is _I can't do this for one more second._

Slamming on the brakes, _thank God there's not much traffic_, I swerve into a pull-out. I press the mute button. It's way too quiet, I wish I kept it on. I open the door, my knees are quaking, my ankles feel like jelly.

"What's going on?" Both of my friends ask. Katie sounds worried and Melissa sounds annoyed.

"I need... I think... I think I'm gonna puke."

"What?"

I stumble over into the grass, suddenly desperate to get away, to _get out of sight_. A thousand things swirl in my mind, a thousand sensations, thoughts, feelings. Some I know well, some are confusing and foreign and I don't know anything about them. My knees buckle and I fall forward, my palms scraping against the bark of a tree.

"Ha ha, did she get knocked up? Don't chicks puke when they're preggo?" One of the guys... David... He jokes to Melissa. Red-hot fury invades my vision, invades my mind. Her giggle is pure fuel to an already burning flame. I want to sleep. I want to cry. I want to hit, I want to kill. I'm screaming inside.

Instead, I run. I jump to my feet, much quicker than I ever would have thought myself capable of, and sprint into the woods, pushing them out of my mind.

I trip on a fallen log.

As I fall into a big puddle, globs of dirt and mud and God-knows-what-else flying everywhere and spraying my not-perfect-enough clothes, everything falls apart.

Including me.

I scream, for real this time, but the sound is cut off, if only for a second.

Later, I'd realize it was a howl.

* * *

A/N: I like to read fanfiction. I figured it was time to write some. :)


	2. a light at the start of the tunnel

**like a dream, like a sigh.**

chapter two.

I am here. I am there. I am everywhere and I am nowhere. I'm everyone and no one. I'm me except I'm not.

Rage. Red-hot anger, boiling in my veins. My eyes are different, no, my eyesight is different. I am seeing things I shouldn't be seeing. The cells of a leaf, it's like a display in science class in seventh grade. I blink, and I don't see it, I see the leaf. But I look harder, look deeper... The anger, the energy, the vibrations keep me from focusing for too long, though. I have to move. I can't stop. Stopping isn't an option, I _have_ to keep going, have to. If I stop... well. These are my thoughts and I am not thinking about stopping.

_"Who are you?" _Voices ask me, but I brush them off like lint on my shoulder. There are so many other, more interesting things, to think and focus on! _"That hurt!" _Feigned offense, a sensation that isn't my own, sweeps through me.

I don't care. More feigned offense, though it almost feels real, like me ignoring this strange voice might be doing something. Whatever. I'm probably dreaming. I probably passed out after running into the woods like the weirdo I am.

There's a tree up ahead. Its trunk isn't straight. For a second, I'm upset that the tree dared to grow that way. I hear a loud, primal growl, and I'm on that sucker, as if I can actually take down a big-ass tree on my own. Hello, look at these scrawny arms of mine – wait, what?

In a flash, I'm pivoting on... FOUR? FOUR? FOUR FUCKING LEGS? WHAT THE FUCK? And that tree... the tree that wasn't straight –

_"Homophobia isn't very nice."_

– is snapped in half, splintered near its base. My hair (hair that seems like it's all over my body... hair that is hindering my movements) felt like it _moved_ with the force of the tree crashing to the ground. Odd. I just shaved today...

_"That won't do you all that much good. Your legs and armpits aren't the problem, teehee."_

The shock of that tree falling, the possibility that _I_ might have done it, is enough to shake me from my rage. I stare at it, the tree that I just KOed for good... "What the fuck," I murmur, reaching to tuck my hair behind my ear.

Except...

I don't say anything.

It comes out as a garbled whine-yowl-growl-thing, something to the effect of "Arghblaschwee." I blink, realizing I'm holding my arm (?) at a strange angle and I can't seem to reach my ear.

I look down at my arm, only to see...

a... leg?

_"You're a wolf. I'll call Jake again... odd that he didn't respond yet."_ Why is there a voice in my head? "_Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? What's weird is that you're even here! I'm Quil, by the way. Quil Ateara. What's your name? It's cool that you're with us. I've wondered what would happen if someone new phased. Which pack do they go to? Maybe it's a territory thing. If you phase here but not there you are in our pack, but if you phase _there _you're one of them.__"_

He's not making any sense! I'm a petulant child in that instant, not bothering to resist the urge to stomp my feet (paws?) on the ground. Anger returns with a vengeance, my arms/legs/limbs/things are trembling once again, and I hear that growl again. It's so loud that I feel it in my throat. Wait...? Is it... Am _I _the one growling? _"Yes." _GET OUT OF MY HEAD! _"Gosh. It's not like I can help it!"_

Something inside me says that if I pull back and launch myself forward I'll hit the ground running. That I can trust this alien body just as much as my normal one... wait... no... that's someone talking.

_"...a wolf. Being one has responsibilities. **You cannot tell anyone about what you are, or who **_**we_ are._**_ It's a secret we guard for life. Uh... What else should I say?"_

_"O wise leader, shouldn't you have the first-time-phasing-pep-talk already scripted?"_

_"Well I wasn't... I wasn't expecting anyone else to phase!"_

_"This doesn't bode well." _

_"No, Quil, it doesn't. It means more vampires are around."_

Wait. What? Vampires?

_"Welcome to my world."_

_"Our world."_

_"Aww, Jakey, how sweet."_

_"Don't call me that, Leah."_

_"Pfft. Fine. So touchy."_

What am I doing here?

_"You phased."_

_"You're a werewolf."_

_"But mind-reading-leech says otherwise. But fuck him. Forget I said that. We're werewolf enough."_

_"Besides, aren't real werewolves basically killed off?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Anyway. You need to stay calm. We're coming. This... isn't easy. This... won't ever be easy. But it's life. Life for us and you now. We are not your enemy –"_

_"– we're the most kickass extended family ever!"_

_"– but your friends. Uh... This is a pack. Pack takes care of pack? Capiche?"_

I want to go home.

_"You can't."_

_WHAT? _I take off running again, unable to bear being still anymore._  
_

_"So shrill! Yeesh! My mind ears are ringing!"_

_"You're unstable... uh, what was your name again?"_

_Shoshana. _I'm powerless to not answer him... this... "Jake?" _Shoshana Nystrom. _

_"Jacob. I'm Jacob Black. Shoshana, you're unstable. Being... a werewolf... it's going to take practice." _I knew his name, remembered some girl in third hour talking about him the other day. How he'd disappeared and been absent so much and _still _graduated near top of his class, how it was some conspiracy 'cause his daddy was so respected._  
_

A thought struck me. What if I can't be human again?

_"You can change back."_

_But how?_

_"Just... focus. You might not be able to. You're unstable, Shoshana. Don't risk anything. Stay in the forest. We're almost there."_

I don't want to wait for them. I can't. I can't do this. Focus, he said? Well, I'd try.

_"Shoshana, you should just say in –"_

Stay like _this?_ No way! It couldn't be that hard, could it? I tried to think of being human, think of two legs and not four, of long black hair on my head and not all over my body. I imagined this huge paw turning into a hand with perfectly manicured fingernails and...

"Yes!"

I was beside myself with joy, before noticing the tatters of clothes all over the ground. Were they... mine? And I was... naked?

Just like that, I was back to square one.

Back to four legs.

* * *

_"It's going to take time to control it."_

_But I was JUST human! How could it happen so fast?_

_"You got angry. Until you learn to control it every time you get mad you'll phase."_

_"Just chillax."_

_"Come here. Use the mind link between us all."_

_What?_

_"We're in a clearing. You're close to the highway. Come further into the forest."_

_But... my clothes._

_"C'mon."_

_"Hurry up. I don't want to be here all day."_

_"Pfft, Leah, you know you wanna stay cuz it's another girl!"_

_"Shut the fuck up, Quil. You don't know anything."_

_"Guys, united front. We're a united front."_

_"Fine, I'll play the part for Miss Newbie..."_

I did not like being called Newbie, but I'm curious about what he'd meant. Images flash through my brain, visions I've never seen. Like photos, but kind of in motion. Memory blips. They are showing me memories! It_'s amazing. _Bonds, I can see them, linking me, "Newbie," to them. Names presented themselves to me. Jacob Black, Leah Clearwater, Quil Ateara. Visions of wolves, gargantuan wolves, and humans, human faces. Suddenly, I _knew_ them. And they know me now. It reminds me of syncing my iPod... a progress bar at the top of the screen, progress at seventy-eight percent...

My legs move of their own volition when I decide I want to go where they are like Jacob instructed me. Within moments, I'm there. The first thing that strikes me is the sheer size of these wolves. Wolves weren't supposed to be this big! I've seen wolf prints in the snow, when we vacationed in Canada one winter, and they were big... but those paws... HUGE!

_"Was that what I looked like before I cut my hair?"_

_"It's the shaggy wolf!"_

_"Guys, cut it out."_

Shame fills me as I back up a few steps, an involuntary whine escaping me at the insult. I see myself, see the smaller black wolf in their mind, with hair long enough to _be_ the shaggy wolf that Quil called me. Wolves aren't known for being glamorous, I know, but I suddenly feel like I'm not good enough. The two guys are friggin' tanks, all muscle and bulk and raw strength. Leah is sleek and graceful, like an Italian sports car. Me, ugly me, I'm just a mop. I'm only good for cleaning their pawprints out of the dirt, like in 101 Dalmatians...

_"Now you're just being melodramatic. Seriously. So you need to cut your hair. You'll live."_

_Cut my hair? _The hair I spend so much time styling and conditioning and ensuring is perfect, flawless? No. _No, no no no no! _Out of the question.

_"Shoshana. I'm sorry. You need to. That has to be uncomfortable..." _I explore the connection to the other wolves, feel how they feel when they run. Yes, I guess their range of motion is much smoother than my own. I realize I _had _stumbled a few times but I hadn't thought much of it. But I can't. I can't do this.

_"You can and you will."_

_"If I worked through it, you can, too. Quit whining."_

_"Leah!"_

_"You're being soft. I vote we just go to my place, go to my bathroom, and... snip, snip."_

I howl in agony at the mere prospect, sprinting away.

**_Don't._**

And I don't. I can't disobey. I pad back over to where I had been originally, letting my head hang low.

_"Yeah... Alphas are tough to disobey. Heh." _Quil thinks he's being funny, but it's just pissing me off right now. I can almost envision how I might attack, probably aiming for his throat or –

_"That's not necessary. Pack cares for Pack. We aren't going to kill each other. So don't even try."_

_Sorry._ I'm already sick of this. I want to go home.

_"You can't."_

_Why?_

_"You can hurt them."_

_Them being...?_

_"Everyone. You can hurt anyone and everyone if you lose control, which you certainly will over the next few weeks and certainly in the future. Control takes time to earn through practice and training and concentration."_

_Then where do I go? I stay as the "Shaggy Wolf?"_

_"You can crash at one of our places."_

_When? _

_"Uh... Any time?"_

I feel pathetic, weak, and stupid.

_"My place is probably the cleanest. Not that I'm really offering, but... I know for a fact it's better than any of the guys' places. They're slobs."_

_"Leah, puh-leeze."_

_"It's true."_

_If it's okay with you..._

_"Look, I'm not gonna be your hotel maid. But the couch is open, assuming Embry didn't crash already... Nah. It's not even 10 PM, I bet, so it's too early for him. So, yeah. Couch = Open."_

_That'd be... _All the anger has evaporated, leaving exhaustion in its wake. _...great. Thanks._

_"Don't think I'm your best friend or anything."_

_Certainly not._

_"Well, that's settled. Remember you **can't go home** yet. It's for your own good. Always be with someone from the Pack." _Thanks to the connection, I already know the names and faces of everyone... I feel great sympathy for my iPod at this point in time. It sure is disorienting, learning in such an unorthodox fashion.

_Okay. _Okay.

We run. I follow them, keeping a few paces between me and anyone else. Jacob runs at the front, as Leader, as Alpha. Leah is his second, his Beta, running at his side, at his shoulder. Quil follows, and me, I follow him. I'm the lowest in rank. I don't even fucking care right now.

Leah and I break off, going toward what I know is her house. She's lucky to have her house bordering forest... but then again, I do, too. Not that I'll be making use of that any time soon and _oh my God, I'm a fucking werewolf._

_"Again, I say welcome to the club." _Leah phases first to go inside, grab clothes for both herself and me, and then she says the couch will be open. I think of my friends. Were they looking for me? Or did they just leave? If so, which pair got split? Was Melissa so desperate as to have Katie drive her mom's car? I'm not sure. It's dark out, now, but my eyes... my eyes... I know I'm seeing more than I would have ever imagined possible.

_Thwap! _A neat pile of clothes lands on the grass a few feet away from me. I look around to make sure no one is here to see before focusing like I had. _Two legs not four, two legs not four, two legs not four, two legs not – _it feels so effortless in spite of the effort required to get to this point. I hastily yank the shirt on as I run for her door, pulling on the cut-off shorts awkwardly as I brace myself against her house's wall, my heart thundering in my chest. Streaking was _not_ in my list of plans to do today!

I shove at my hair, my beautiful hair (hair I never thought to appreciate until the very-real prospect of cutting it off... how much would be cut? Would I be bald?), before steeling myself and walking into the house.

"Couch is open!" I hear her call, from some room upstairs, before I hear the sound of running water. I kind of wish I could shower right now, but I'm so, so tired.

My legs give out the second I go to lie down, and I'm asleep before I'm even flat on the creaky couch...

* * *

I wake with a start to the sound of the door opening and slamming shut. Blinking groggily, I look around in the dark, but I can make everything out as if it were daytime.

A sharp intake of breath alerts me to where he is and I look over to see the most handsome guy I've ever had the honor of laying my eyes on in my life. I wish I had checked my makeup, wish I had –

"Who are you?" His voice is deliciously low. I can taste the alcohol in his breath but I don't care. I'm drawn like a moth to a flame, sitting up and going to stand up, going to walk over to him. "No." Confused, I freeze. No to what? Me being here? I remember standing in the clearing, a mop in the presence of perfect wolves. If I was a hag as a wolf, I must be a hag as a human. He smells kind of like them, like the wilderness, plus I remember his face from their minds. _Embry._

"Embry," I breathe just as he speaks.

"No, don't get up. Sorry for disturbing you." His gaze never leaves me, and mine never him.

"It's... okay."

"How do you know my name? Wait. No. It doesn't matter." He's acting like his time is limited with me... like he won't have enough time to bother with me answering his question.

I remember his question. "Shoshana."

"Sh... Sho... Sho..." He stuggles with my name in his inebriated state. I find it oddly endearing, even though with most guys I am beyond over them stuttering over my name. "Shoshawwwwn. Uh. Shoshawna. Shawna. Shawn."

"You... _had_ it right." I giggle nervously, the sound is discordant, too high in pitch to sound natural.

"Sorry." In a flash, he's right in front of me. Captivated by his closeness, I do nothing, remaining perfectly still as he hesitantly reaches a hand toward me, toward my face. His touch is feather-light, but it affects me more than anything ever has before. My eyes flutter shut and I find myself leaning into him. "Shawn..." I don't know why he's calling me that, but just to hear something in his voice is more than enough for me.

I want to stay awake, luxuriate in his embrace... but my eyes don't want to open. "Don't... want... I don't wanna sleep."

"S'okay," he murmurs, breath hot on my ear, "s'okay..."


	3. volatile

**like a dream, like a sigh**

chapter three.

I wake up feeling strangely peaceful. Everything smells different, though. Stronger. Everything has a hint of pine needles, for whatever reason. Mixed with the strong of... air? Since when did air have a smell? I open my eyes reluctantly, too happy to bask in the warmth of sleep. Usually my bedroom is so damned cold... the only heater at the house is a Toyostove in the living room. If I don't leave my door open (I never do) my room never warms. So it is very, very unusual that I'm so... warm. I shift to try and shove at my hair a bit, only to... not be able to?

"What the..." An odd sense of relief comes over me when I hear my voice.

Then: "Hmm?" An unfamiliar, husky voice murmurs... into my ear!

Panicking, sure that something is very, very _wrong_ here, I roll over, untangling myself from what I will later realize are limbs (both limbs that are mine and those that most certainly are _not_), onto the floor, bonking my head on something in the process. "Ow!"

"Are you okay?" Again, that wonderful warmth. I just wanna snuggle right into – no, no, I don't.

"Who are _you_?"

He mumbles something about me having known him last night. Oh God, did I get drunk? Ever since the incident at Rialto Beach I had sworn off drinking with friends! How could I disobey my own – "I'm _Embry._" There's something desperate about the way he says it. Pleading, even.

"Erm...'kay, then, Embry." He's practically straddling me, leaning over my face. His dark brows are wrinkled with concern, his hair cropped short, though a bit shaggy at the same time. Unevenly cut. It's... kind of cute. Blinking in an effort to shoo those thoughts away, I angle my face toward the couch before speaking again. "You think you could... uh... get off of me?" Wouldn't want him to smell my morning breath. _Though he probably could even if I was on the other side of the room. _Where did that thought come from? _Because he's a... a... _wolf. _Like me._ Like me?

I'm too startled by my inner revelation to notice Leah's entrance, which causes "Embry" to freeze.

"You sure don't wait long, do you?" She sounds positively miffed.

"Uhhh..." The deep tones of his voice, even when he's just making a nonsensical noise, sound... rather lovely.

"I mean, couldn't you have _waited_ for us to introduce her into the pack before deciding you had to make a move? Really, Embry? Really? You can't keep it in your pants _that_ fucking long –"

"She'smyimprint!"

"..."

Total silence on all of our parts.

"You imprinted on her?"

"...maybeIdon'tknowyeahIdidyes."

"Speak English."

"...Yeah."

"Damn."

"Yeah."

"That's... different."

He nods, still looking at me. It's horribly unnerving, but it's not enough to keep me from getting tweaked.

Were they _ever_ planning on telling me what they were talking about?

"What are you guys _talking_ about?"

"Whoa, Shawn..." _Shawn? _Oh. Ohhh. Right. I guess I _had_ kind of encouraged him. I tend to do that sometimes. Lord knows why.

"Shawn?" Leah leans against something, maybe a wall or a doorway. Embry shrugged, nervously looking at my trembling arms. He made to grab my hands, which was most unwelcome.

"_Get. Off. Of. Me._"

He looks totally torn for a second, then two, like he _really, really_ doesn't want to, but he _really, really_ feels like he needs to. Well, he _does_ need to.

"I _said_ –" I don't even have the time to finish the sentence before my body gives up the ability for human speech.

* * *

A/N: Thank you, compa16 for the kind review.


	4. mixed signals

**like a dream, like a sigh**

chapter four.

"Holy shit! I'm so sorry!"

"Sorry for clawing up Em's face or for ripping out of my clothes? In the gazillion times you've apologized, you've never bothered to make the distinction. Honestly, I think you should be more concerned about the latter, Newbie." I ignore Leah, who isn't the least bit sympathetic. She doesn't even sound to angry about the fact I ripped up her shirt and shorts, though. _I'll apologize later. I'll make it up._ But clothes are the least of my concerns right now.

"S'okay," he says, gingerly touching his face. His _bloody_ face. "See? It's healing up real nice. And she's right. You should be more worried about ruining something of Leah's..." He tries for a smile, but it's a little crooked. It breaks my heart. I wrap the throw blanket around me a bit tighter as I go to see if Leah's kitchen will offer any wet rags to try and clean his face up a bit. It was hard to tell if it _was_ healing up or not. "Don't worry about it. Really." He grabs my arm before I can stand up, which is fine, because I don't really want to leave his side anyway... but the blood... _yeesh. _Guilt consumes me and I wish more than anything I had more control. "We werewolves heal damned fast."

"Alright. Indecency time is over." Leah says dully, tossing me another set of clothes. With the blanket I was covering more of my skin than she did hers, but I didn't point that out. "These are a bit rattier. Won't matter _quite_ as much if you rip them up. Which I'd rather you not. I'm charging fifty bucks a change of clothes that you ruin from here on out. That was just a grace set 'cause I'm a generous soul." She pauses, looking at Embry suspiciously, then returning her gaze to me and quirking a brow. "Change in the bathroom. It's over there, door by the window."

Obediently, I do so, loathe as I am to leave. I try and make my expression as apologetic as possible, but it feels more like I'm just scrunching it up. Or something. So I don't. "I'm so sorry!" I repeat, before dashing into the bathroom, nearly tripping over my feet as I do so. It's hard to sprint when you're wrapped up like a burrito.

The clothes aren't ratty, per se. Just plain. I'm in no position to judge, though I can't help feeling self-conscious. No doubt my friends would be questioning my sanity if I went to school looking like _this_. Then again, they probably already are questioning my sanity for running off into the woods. _My GPA! _If I missed school, missed assignments, missed extra credit... my grades would be in ruins!

I glance at the mirror, frowning at the reflection. The lack of makeup is most disturbing. While I use all kinds of cleansers and moisturizers, I always vowed not to leave the house without makeup. Or mascara. I had long enough lashes, but that stuff gave it the extra –

"You're... sure?" Leah almost sounds hesitant. I haven't known her for even 24 hours, but everything about her exuded confidence, power. There was something predatory about her movements. Something predatory about all of their movements, to be honest. She was high up on the social ladder, that much I was sure of. So I knew this tone of voice was not characteristic.

"Sure about what?" He sounded too damned calm to have just been practically mauled by a big, shaggy wolf with the brain the size of a pea. _I'm so stupid. _How could I have hurt him like that?

"That you imprinted." Again. That word. _Imprint. _What did it mean? I remembered something about it in science, biology, I think it was. Every time I heard it I thought of those people running around in giant goose costumes, trying to teach _real_ geese how to fly. What the hell did that have to do with anything?

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." I could just hear the smile on his face. It made me smile, though I didn't really know why.

"Hm."

"What?"

"You think she imprinted on you?" Me? Imprinted? I frowned at myself in the mirror. _What does she mean? _

A long pause. Then: "I'm... not sure. I don't think it matters." I contemplated the tube of toothpaste next to the sink.

"Hm."

Cautiously, I turned the faucet on, but not to full blast. Enough so I'd still hear them. I'm sneaky like that. Squeezing the toothpaste onto my finger tip (it'd have to do in the absence of a toothbrush), I "brushed" my teeth to the best of my ability, as quickly as I could without feeling like I was being icky.

I looked longingly at my hair, which was rather unkempt but not as tangled as I would expect. _Surely there's another way. _I couldn't bear the thought of losing it... Leah may have been able to pull off the short hair that went to her chin, but I was certain that I wouldn't be able to. With the quietest of sighs I could imagine to vent my disappointment in my appearance, I stepped back out and walked to the couch.

"Took you long enough," Leah said, having retreated to the kitchen. She opened the microwave door and put a plate in it, guessing from the _checlunk_ it made when she set it down. _Beep, beep, beep, beep, BEEP. _Every sound was so stark and in-my-face. Well, in-my-ears, I guess.

"You okay?" I asked Embry, my insides churning at the sight of him. He _did_ look better, though, maybe he was healing after all. "I'm so–"

"I'm _fine._ Really. Truly. Once I wash my face... and my shoulder..." My horror must have been clear on my face. "Oh, no! It's not as bad as my... You just... nicked it. That's all. I can feel it. Healing, that is. It's healing. I swear. Really."

"Take off your shirt." Leah barked a laugh and a funny look crossed his face. I glared at him. "I'm not about to jump your bones," _though when you're not bleeding on my account I do feel oddly tempted,_ "let me see."

"Hey... if you're asking..." Just as he was pulling his shirt off, a door opened.

"Where have _you_ been, Seth H. Clearwater?" Leah asked crossly as she opened the refrigerator.

"Uhm." Something about this guy made him seem younger than most of the others, muscular build or not, closer to my age than the others. For some reason I felt like I knew him from somewhere. His expression was totally blank, his eyes wide. "I... I think I walked in at the wrong time."

"Ignore them," Leah said easily, peeking around the corner of the door to the living room. "You've been gone all night."

"Who are you? Our mom?" Leah scowled, he looked instantly contrite. "Jake asked me to run another patrol."

"I know. You should've been home way earlier. Hours ago."

"Um..."

"And are you _planning_ on ever graduating? School started two hours ago!"

"You're in third hour's English, aren't you?" He asked me, looking perplexed.

"With Fournier?"

"Yeah."

"...Yeah." Embry snaked an arm around my waist and I sat on the couch, not sure what to make of Seth H. Clearwater's questioning.

"She's skipping, too!"

"'Cause she's a newbie, kid. You ain't. Freshen up or something," Leah wrinkled her nose for effect, "and get yer ass to school."

Seth obeyed grudgingly, grumbling the whole way down a hall. I heard him ascend some stairs.

"You're the same age as Seth?"

"I'm 17." I didn't know how old he was, so I couldn't answer yes or no. Leah smirked at Embry.

"Jailbait." He growled – literally growled – at the implication. Though... I couldn't judge. Not after I _roared_ at him earlier. At the reminder, I looked at him, which made Embry instantly relax. I could just see the change in his face, his posture. _I think... I think he just forgot Leah for a second. _

"You should wash your face. I'll... go get you a washcloth. Yeah. A washcloth." I got up, then went into the kitchen. The pizza rolls she'd cooked smelled _delicious_, but no way was I going to ask for anything more of her right now. Embry first, find a way to eat later. "Are there any...?" I asked her.

"Towels? Yeah. In that cupboard over there." She pointed to it, pouring a soda into a glass.

After running it in some water, wetting half of it with cold water and the other half with warm (I wasn't sure which would feel better to him, so I did both).

"You're such a pussy, Embry, letting her baby you."

"It's my fault!" I told her, returning to my spot next to him. "I am really, _really _–"

"Shawn. It's okay. Really. And I can wash my own face. He went for the cold side, I noticed. I should have just run cold water on the whole thing. When he was done, I realized he was right. It was healing up nicely... just not fast enough for my liking. "What?"

"Why can't it heal faster?"

"It would have taken weeks for it to heal at a normal rate." I flinched.

"I'm s-"

"Shawn."

"But I am!"

"It's _okay._" The way he said it made me believe that it was... for all of three seconds.

"I'm–"

"Hey, we get it. Seriously." Leah said, popping a pizza roll in her mouth. That caught Embry's attention.

"You have... pizza rolls? And you didn't tell me?"

"No! Dammit, Embry!" In a flash, he was already digging into Leah's freezer. "Fucking pig." She made no move to stop him, though. She fixed her gaze on me, the look in her eyes suddenly speculative. "So, uh, Sho... shana. Are you obsessed with him?"

"What?"

"Has Embry consumed your thoughts? Is everything inside of you geared towards –"

"Leah."

"What? It's just a question. How else will we know?"

"It can wait." Embry said, waiting for the microwave to finish heating up his breakfast of pizza rolls.

"Whatever."

Seth was walking down the stairs.

"You sure are taking your sweet time, Seth."

"I didn't know I was supposed to _run_."

Leah tilted her head, looking at the wall. On the other side of it, Seth seemed to be lollygagging.

"Why _don't_ you run to school, Seth?" Her voice was deceptively sweet. "In human form, of course. **Run**."

"Lee-uh!" But he was already running, and _whoosh_, out the door.

"The perks of being Beta..."

Beta. Second-in-command. That much I had gotten. She could order us around? _Greaaat._ I thought of Jacob's order not to go home. The thought of going back to the house, even of lying in my own bed... it made me sick to my stomach. It wasn't happening. _Mind-control... everything seems to be in the mind when it comes to werewolves. _Except for the very-physical act of turning into one, that is. I thought of Embry's adoring face.

_Imprint._ Was that like a Beta's order? Something messing with your head?

"What is an imprint?" I ask out loud, not sure if Embry or Leah will answer. Both do.

"It's when you –"

"An imprint is –"

"–become totally obsessed with –"

"–when your whole world –"

"–some person who fate decided is your–"

"–shifts 'cause you find your–"

Both of them ended with: "–soulmate."

Embry glared at Leah as he walked out, a plate of hot pizza rolls steaming in his hands.

I was still trying to process who said what for a moment. "Soulmate." I repeated dumbly.

"Yes," Embry said, awfully eagerly as he sat by me. "Want some?"

"Sure," I said, plucking one of the rolls off his plate. "Thanks."

"_My_ mom was the one who bought 'em."

"Thanks, Leah's mom." I said good-naturedly.

"You still owe me shorts and a tee, newbie." Again, that fucking guilt. I felt so damned _dependent._ "Chill."

My hands were shaking again. Embry leaned toward me, as though for an embrace. I shrunk away, even as part of me would have welcomed it.

"So you _have_ to like me? Like Seth _had_ to obey Leah just now?"

"It's not that I _have_–"

"He has to, yeah. Fate says so. Fate is _the_ grand Alpha." Leah said, cutting off whatever he was going to say. He growled at her, such an inhuman sound... the couch seemed to vibrate with the sound, _I_ seemed to vibrate with the sound. There was no mistaking the intent in the growl, the primal _fuck you_, so to speak. It struck some kind of chord in me, feeling like a window being busted open. It wasn't a door, but I could squeeze through it if I wanted to...

"Shawn? Shawn are you –"

"Whatever it is, which I don't get at all, I want you to _stop_." Now _I_ was the one vibrating, on my own, with no growl of his involved. "Tell the grand Alpha to suck it." My back arched forward and my whole body trembled with the strain of me trying to fight it, fight it... no, I was going to lose.

The door was a few paces away.

I focused on deep, full breaths, trying so freaking hard. What pissed me off the most was that I had to lean into Embry to try and calm myself, his _smell_, of all things, keeping that red haze from overcoming me.

"You're sending some mixed signals, new–"

Out the door I went, out of those clothes I ripped out.

_That's fifty bucks down the drain...!_

_

* * *

_

A/N: So, what do you think? Did Shoshana imprint? Or...? Tell me why you think so in a review – pretty, pretty please?

I'm also totally open to answering questions. If you're scratching your head over something feel free to ask me about it. I promise I'll reply to each and every review.


	5. this can't be real

**like a dream, like a sigh**

chapter five.

_"Shoshana!" _In his thoughts there was this constant mantra behind them, that mantra being my name, over and over and over again. _"Shoshana! Shoshana! Shoshana!" _It was tiring just to hear, but sobering. My anger had evaporated the second he had phased, running after me as I fled into the woods.

_Embry,_ I think to him, wearily, looking over my shoulder at him as I run through the forest. _Why? _It's disorienting, having our minds connected. I've never felt this pull when it was me and three other wolves, whereas Embry was just the one. _He_ was pulling me towards him, whether he knew it or not.

_"Shawn! Shawn, I'm sorry!"_

_Sorry for what? _He has nothing to really be sorry for. _I'm_ the one who is "out of control," who is a "danger to my friends and family," who _clawed_ his face after transforming in Leah's living room!

_"Everything."_

_Again, you have nothing to be sorry for. _Why doesn't he get that?

I came to a halt, shaking my too-long fur out of my eyes. It's an unwelcome, _constant_ reminder of the fact I really need to cut it... an agonizing prospect. I regret even thinking about it, for Embry practically throws himself into my pain. He's so unbelievably desperate to take it away.

_Embry! _I need to separate us. He's intent on making us one and the same, blending his mind into mine like a fricking angler fish or whatever they are, where the male attaches itself and withers away to nothing. There's no way in hell I'm going to let that happen! I imagine lines, walls, _anything_ that could act as a divide. To my frustration, this just feels impossible, for I can't even begin to imagine where I ended and he began. _Damn this stupid mind-link-thing!_

Then – _oof! _He tackles me to the ground, like an overeager puppy greeting its owner when they come home. As if their owner had been gone forever and ever and ever! Of course he's gigantic, dwarfing me in size... and I know I am flipping huge, freak that I am. Why, why did we have to be so big?

_"Shawn!"_ He nuzzles his face against my ruff, totally and blissfully happy that I was _there_ and I was _in his head. "Mineminemineminemine! Mine!"_ That gets my attention immediately.

_Yours?_

_"Mine!"_

_Since when?_

_"Since forever."_ His joy's infectious, but I force myself to be immune.

_Embry... _He was and is a stranger. I've known him since... last night. Or, probably, this morning. It was the middle of the night, but it could have just been early morning. Why does it feel like we were old friends? Like it _had_ been since forever. I'm not so sure that I was "his," though. I think he's more than a little delusional in that aspect, not that he's really aware of it. His thoughts are, once again, drawn to the source of my inner turmoil.

_"Maybe you can start a new trend. Maybe long hair is better. Least you'll be warmer._" I bark a laugh, rolling away from him, but all this hair got in the way. It _would_ feel better, at least in wolf form, to have short hair. In a way... I want it more than anything, but my human side won't let it go. Wait. Human side? _I _won't let it go. _I_ am _human._ There is no separation. I'm not schizo!

_No,_ I disagree, finally, shaking away the odd thoughts. _I can't even get up! It's like a fishing net! _I can't even get properly upset about it, since he is too happy to cuddle with a (shaggy wolf) girl under a tree. Again, his happiness is contagious and I am helpless but to be totally content, too. It's so... strange. This feeling of warmth, of complete relaxation. He is like a warm fire, no, a warm sun, radiating all kinds of... warm and fuzzy feelings? Was being a werewolf-thing like being on crack? Seriously? Something's messed up here about these thoughts I'm having.

_"I guess we are angler fish after all." _I growl reflexively, voicing my disagreement, before it quickly turns into a startled whine when his cold nose shoves against my ear.

_No. We're human. And what the heck are you doing?_

_"In part,"_ he protests, but he's still just so damned _happy_. He isn't bothered (much) by my mini-outburst, convinced that I don't really "mean it." His eyes are calm as they regard me, but without any kind of condescension. I study him.

He's a striking gray, darker in shade than Leah is, but only just. The effect is mostly because there's more contrast in the... patterns? The way his fur is. Hers is more subtle, closer to being one uniform color, whereas he has more intermixed dark and light hairs. What can easily be described as spots line his coat, but, on closer inspection (given that he'd flopped down next to me), I notice they aren't really circles. Some hairs grow dark, forming something more like a tear-drop shape, a thousand little tear-drops, all down his back and tail. Around his ears it is darker, before the fur runs down his face like a black mask. His dark eyes, we all had dark eyes thanks to our heritage, are outlined in lighter-colored fur. His head is a bit narrower, more refined, than Quil's blockier head. It wasn't feminine, though, not in the slightest. I rather like it.

He's completely and utterly full of himself, too, radiating smug satisfaction while basking in my attention.

_Narcissist,_ I tease, nibbling on his shoulder after I rest my head on his back. He's the perfect cushion, cuddly and warm.

_"You're the one admiring me."_

_Ha! Admiring?_

_"You know it." _He cranes his neck to look at me, his dark eyes alight with playfulness. I try to gauge his intentions, feeling my ears swivel forward while I try to raise my brows. I guess that was the wolf equivalent, anyway, it's hard to mimic human expressions. Why is he thinking about potatoes and butter? Without warning, a big, salmon-pink tongue comes whipping out of his mouth and swipes right across my face!

_Eeurgh! _My face is all slobbered on now! I roll away, tripping over my legs in the process. As I try to paw at my face, playfully pretending to be totally freaked out in a (rather ruthless) attempt to make him apologetic about totally defacing my, er, face, I end up phasing somehow. "Whoops," I breathe, shocked out of my happy mood. Without however many pounds of thick, wolfy fur as a coat, my bare skin was instantly chilled to the core. "Brrr."

"Shawn? You okay?" He'd quickly followed me into human form, apparently. We are much, much bigger as wolves than as humans, so he is a bit further away than I would have expected. In a flash, though, he is at my side. Totally embarassed, I curl up in an attempt to cover myself. Sure, I'll cuddle with you, clothes-less, as a big, shaggy wolf, but as a person? Uh-uh!

"Clothes!" I squeak, probably as red as a tomato. I peek from under my windswept (wolfswept?) hair at him, to see that he's blushing like mad. It would have been kind of cute, except I probably look the same, all flustered, and that was enough to lessen the cuteness factor. Cuteness factor? I'd always made fun of Katie etc when they had a new crush... Is this just a crush? I've been inside of his friggen _mind_, that _has_ to make it more... I dunno... meaningful?

"Er... There's a... stash... Probably nearby. I'll, uhm, get it. Yeah." _A stash... _Reminded me of when Jackson or one of our other guy friends was talking about weed. They always had _stashes_ everywhere. AKA in random girls' houses, where one wouldn't really think to look. Or that was the intention, I guess.

"Okay."

He stands there for a long moment, as if fighting some kind of inner war, about what, I don't know, before running off, phasing as he does so. The force of his transformation sends a gust of air at me, rustling the grass at my feet. I think of transforming, dreaded the thought of all that damned hair, decide against it – but that dreaded reminder of what was to... well, it was enough to rip me from having two legs to having four instead.

_"Clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes!" _He _knew_ there is a stash of shorts and T-shirts _somewhere_, he just has to look _harder_. _"Shawn!" _Again, that repeating in the background. _"Shawn, Shawn, Shawn, Shawn!"_

_I'm not a nudist, _I announce to both of our minds, _somehow being a wolf seems more "decent" in my world, now. _He laughs, _woofing_ softly.

_"You're taking it well. Being a wolf, I mean."_

_Well, I have you, don't I? _It was so unbelievably selfish, telling him to "undo" it right before I become super-dependent. But he doesn't see it that way... and being linked by our own minds makes it so incredibly easy to believe it just because he really, truly does.

_That you do. Forever. _Forever.

_Forever's an awfully long time. You don't even know me –_

_"Yet. And I like what I see so far. No. I _love_ what I see so far."_

_But... you have to._

_"It's not a prison, Shawn. I _want_ to be with you."_

_Only because you have to. You have to want to. _Leah had said –

_"Ignore what she said. She's bitter."_

_Grand Alpha? Is there a grand Alpha?_

_"Pfft. Doubtful. Imprinting is... wonderful." _He thinks of it, of everything that had happened since he saw me... I'm helpless but to see myself through his eyes, groggy and only half-awake on the couch in Leah's house. I know I must have looked ridiculous – I never like anyone being around me when I'm asleep – but for some reason... it's like he photoshopped his memories! _"Photoshopped my memories?" _I don't look that good in reality. _"Bull." _He is about to dole out the compliments, I can tell, when a clump of disturbed soil catches his eye. _"Got 'em!" _He doubles back, racing toward me. I keep running after him, or as fast as a "shaggy wolf" could. Maybe I lope toward him instead.

He meets me swiftly, his tail wagging like a dog with the small sack of clothes gently held in his mouth. He drops it like my mom's cat dropped dead mice, at my feet and with such pride. _"Are you comparing me to a kitty cat?"_

_"'Cause you're a pussy." _Leah had phased in that instant, barely picking up the thought but oh-so-quick to come up with a retort. She'd been wondering what had been up. _"A pussycat."_

_"Shut the fuck up, Leah." _Embry, apparently, was _not_ pleased with her interruption. The sheer possessiveness in his mind, in his thoughts, stun me. Baffled, I am torn between defending him against Leah's remarks and cutting him down to size myself. He didn't _own_ me!

_You're not a pussy, Embry. _Just because he doesn't own me doesn't mean I didn't feel a similar dose of... of... Well, I had the weird sense that it'd be _wrong_ to not defend him. Leah recalled her brief conversation with Embry. Immediately, she began prying into my mind, curious but undeterred. I blink, wanting to phase and dress, but not sure if I should do that with the pack's Beta rifling through my thoughts.

_"Leah..." _Embry warns, stalking toward and around me to put himself, physically, between the Beta and me. Of course, it does nothing psychically and she's still in my mind just fine.

_"Just curious..." _She's unapologetic, silently pressing and quizzing. I don't know what she's asking, only that I'm answering... somehow? What am I answering, exactly? My ears flatten against my skull.

_"You're making her uncomfortable!" _Embry snarls, a most fierce-some growl rumbling from deep in his chest. I flinch at the vehemence of it, as my tail curls between my legs in fear. Fear? I don't fear him, but now he thinks that I do. Instantly contrite, his expression softens and he nudges his nose against mine.

_I'm not afraid of you, _I assure him.

_"It's like a half-imprint." _Leah decrees, trotting toward us, with her ears and eyes alert with unrestrained interest.

_"What?"_

_What?_

_"I'm not the authority on imprinting or anything, but she's not thinking like you are, or Quil does, or Jacob does. Or Jared, or–"_

_"We get it." _Embry wants her to get to the point.

_"Anyway. I think _your_ imprint is just rubbing off on her. That's all." _Rubbing... off? How?

_"It doesn't matter. Stop trying to make this mean less than it does." _He emphasizes this with a low growl, instantly relieved that I don't seem too bothered by it this time.

_"That's not what I'm–"_

_"You're just pissed that I imprinted on a shape-shifter and Sam didn't imprint on _you._" _I didn't know who Sam was or what the heck he was talking about, but Leah's flash of pain was unnerving and made me think his words were cruel. Unnecessary.

_"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." _Leah's lips curl up into a snarl, exposing long, white fangs that I can suddenly envision ripping into Embry's throat. The idea is most disturbing and suddenly all I want to do is prevent it from happening. I lunge forward, thinking to defend him.

_"Shawn!" _He's like a huge brick wall, instantly there and not letting me pass by.

_My name is Shoshana. _Apparently, we're back to this. _Sho. Shawn. UH. Shoshana. SHOFREAKINGSHAWNUH! _It's as if the anger I had just been ready to dish out to Leah still has to go _somewhere_ and Embry has just stepped out into its way. Realizing I'm almost ready to hurt him, the thought making my insides recoil, I pivot away, tripping over the too-long fur that grows in such abundance around my shoulders. _OOF!_

_"Shaw-Sho-Shaw-Sho-Shawn-Shawn-nuh–" _He manages to cut off the thought as he dives to the ground, as if he needs to fall down because I already fell. Or something.

_"Pfft. You two are so pathetic." _Leah is, mostly, over my would-have-been attack, though she has to keep reminding herself I'm a _"newbie, newbie, newbie, just a fucking newbie..." _She is working hard on not following through with an attack on Embry for his insult, focusing on her breathing as Embry still tries to appease my request to not call me "Shawn."

_"Shaw...nuh? Shawna? Shana? Shawn's so much easier." _Embry whines aloud miserably as he "checks me for injuries."

_I'm not _that_ big of a klutz. Really. Honestly. Maybe. Kind of. _I don't bother trying to get up. I just want to phase and go ho–nausea washes over me. _Fine, I just want to phase. And... not... _I had compared Embry to a brick wall, but that had been like tissue paper compared to Jacob Black's all-controlling Order. There really _was_ no getting around _this, _is there?

_"Nope." _Leah says, oddly cheerful. Or at least sounding kind of cheerful, anyway. _"You'll get used to it. You don't have a choice."_

Embry didn't like that at all. _"Don't put it like that. It's for a good reason. I heal, but they won't." _I flinch, looking at him. It really had healed, hence why I'd forgotten about it. _"_I_ forgot about it, too, ya know. No biggie. I'll be your punching bag any day." _Leah snickers.

_"BDSM? Bad enough that she's jailbait and you're already planning –"_

_"LEAH." _Embry spins around so fast I don't even see him, his legs vibrating with the sudden energy. Leah doesn't miss a beat, already crouched low and ready to defend. She's more amused than serious.

_Embry! _I jump up, stumbling toward him. _Embry. This is ridiculous. I thought _I_ am the newbie, right?_

_"Maybe his imprint's rubbing off on you and your newly-phased craziness is rubbing off on him." _It's my turn to growl again, which I take quickly. _"Ugh, really? Really? Chill the fuck out."_

_I'm sorry. _I am. Wearily, I sit, feeling strangely tired even though it is only mid-day.

What Leah thought was being "dangerously close to being sympathetic," she looked at me for a long moment before heaving a sigh. _"It's draining and it's rough. It... It should get better. I'm gonna head back inside." _Shrugging the "too-nice" feelings off, she runs back to the house, perfectly fluid in motion.

I look at Embry, who returns my gaze with that strange calmness I can never match, not with my nerves racing and stuttering constantly. Though... just looking at him seems to... calm them? _Ugh. I'm sorry._

"I'm_ sorry." _God, we are pathetic. He gives me a wolfy grin, before sticking his nose in the bag of clothes. He noses out a pair of shorts, then another, and begins looking for a T-shirt. _"These are guy clothes, but you might... might be able to borrow something again from Leah when we go back inside."_

_I still owe her fifty for that set I phased out of._

_"Yeah, right. I think she was kidding."_

_I don't. _He grabs one pair of shorts and lopes off into the trees to phase and change. I do the same, though I go the opposite direction. Decency and all that.

He waits to make sure I am able to phase back, sending all kinds of calm and reassuring messages and feelings. I just wrap myself in them, trying (and probably failing) to send some kind of psychic, grateful vibes in return. I relax in his "presence" until I shed my fur and am human again.

After dressing, I walk over to meet him. There is an intensity to his gaze I hadn't noticed before... something told me it's from what had just happened. Whatever that was. He embraces me... and I hug him right back, grinning like an idiot.

"_I love you._" The conviction is so strong that it almost feels like it's in my head, but it's not, but it sounds so... odd. Everything's odd, though.

_So soon? _I could just cry. This does not happen. Not in reality. No one falls in love with you the first day they know you. I'm going to wake up, in my bed or in the woods after passing out or something, shrug these weird feelings off and go on with my life. None of this can be real, none of this – he kisses me, effectively shutting up that particular train of though.

Everything in the world, except Embry and me, disappears. Even _I_ become a complete sidenote as everything in my mind is now centered around _Embry, Embry, Embry..._

_

* * *

_

A/N: Reviews would make my entire week! I'm shameless like that. And yeah, this was fluff but NYAH! Enjoy it while it lasts! I liek teh fluffz.

**This chapter was revised on 10/12/2010. **I didn't realize I switched tenses at some point. ._. Plus, I totally redid the end and added over 1,000 words. Hopefully, it flows better this time around, as it was mostly fleshing out of paragraphs with some extra Leah for you all. I don't think a story can ever have too much Leah! I've got some plans for Miss Leah, by the way~

I plan on revising the next chapter later today (10/12) or tomorrow (10/13). With luck, it shouldn't be more than a few days of extra revisions to the other chapters and I can actually, GASP, have some new ones out! I've just been in a writing funk lately.

Thanks hiro199 for the review, I am glad you like Shoshana (:

Thanks jojostar, I hope my update pleased you!

Thank you, icy79, for the review.


	6. suck it up

**like a dream, like a sigh**

chapter six.

Cautiously, after telling Embry to wait in the treeline in case she's only mad at him and not me, I knock on Leah's door.

"I can hear you two, you know. And yes, Embry is a pussy for waiting in the trees and sending his imprint, alone," she feigned a gasp, probably not getting up from sitting on the couch while watching TV, "to face... THE LEAH!"

I open the door, no one locked their doors around here, and regarded her for a moment, as Embry came sprinting up and leaped in front of me, totally in a protective stance.

"Embry...!" I wasn't made of glass!

"Yes, Em, defend your imprint from the Leah. Know that the Leah is not pleased and is way awesomer than you and will kick your ass if you say anything as stupid, idiotic, callous, or flat-out dumb again to me. Got it?" He says nothing and I can feel his scowl even though I was behind him. As if expressions were more than just what you see, I guess.

I peek at her from around Embry's shoulder, not realizing my arms are shaking until he loops one of his arms with mine. "Um, Leah...? Do you... have any scissors?"

She looks at me, no, studies me, for a moment, her brows low. With a sigh and a shrug: "Yeah. Yeah, Newbie, I do." She tosses the remote at Embry, who catches it without blinking. "C'mon." She gestures grandly to the bathroom. "Into the abyss we go..."

When Embry moves to go with me, Leah put her hands on her hips and shakes her head. "Nope. You boys are lucky shits and cutting hair is meaningless and doesn't matter because society has established short man-hair as the norm." Short... man-hair? "So you can stay out here and watch America's Next Top Model for me. I want updates when we come back out. I wanna know who went home." She looks at me like she expects me to cry for Embry to _please, please hold my hand_. But... I have pride, yes, and dignity, so I say nothing and walk into the bathroom with whatever is left of that pride and dignity, though I think that got lost somewhere along the way to turning into a wolf, of all things.

I do, however, glance at Embry just before Leah shuts the door. He looks like a puppy in the window, watching his family get in the car, drive down the driveway, and exit down the street. Again, I say nothing.

* * *

After rinsing my hair out with some shampoo and a hint of conditioner (which was not nice for my neck, let me tell you, leaning over the edge of the tub as to not get the shirt wet, it's gonna be sore), I am feeling pretty miserable.

"I'd recommend chin-length, like me. You'll be fluffier than the guys, but you'll still be able to whoop their asses in a race." Leah says this while digging through one of the drawers to find the right kind of scissors. "Honestly, I just kind of hack mine off," I wince at the prospect, "but I'll be nice. Well, as nice as _the Leah_ can be, that is. I'll try and be careful about it. Unless you wanna cut it yourself?" I try and imagine how well that would go.

"Erm..."

"Yeah, I guessed as much. When I first cut mine it wasn't pretty, either. But this is born out of necessity, not beauty. You don't want to be the shaggy wolf forever, now do you?"

"Not particularly..." She hands me a comb. _Well, least shorter hair is easier to maintain. _I get to work on the tangles, which I am ace at, by the way. In no time it would be tangle-free, just-ran-through-the-forest-as-a-wolf time or not.

"Of course you don't. I wouldn't. I _didn't._ Hell, I was so ugly when I first phased, I killed my dad."

...

I just stare at her.

"Yeah, life's a bitch. But so are we." She waggles the scissors at me like an old school teacher with a ruler. She grabs a garbage bag and I am left struck by how quickly she can jump from one thing to the next. "Wrap this 'round your shoulders." I obey, like the obedient little wolf girl I was. I pretend, secretly, that she's forcing me to do this, that she just _wouldn't_ give me another choice. It makes it easier to commit. I want to cry, but the nonchalant, I'm-too-tough-to-care-'cause-I'm-a-fucking-werewolf manner Leah adopts is almost as contagious as Embry's blind (and misguided) love. That blind (misguided) love is softening me, by the way. I'm not some whiny-ass girl... but why am I acting like one? She has me sit on the toilet seat (lid down, obviously), and I spin to give her my back.

When I brush my hair back, my stomach all-but flutters before launching itself into my throat. _This can't be happening. This can't be happening._ I am going to scare the crap out of everyone I knew! I can almost imagine the looks of absolute horror when they see what I am going to become! First, I disappear... then... I cut my hair?

"Here we go..."

_Stop! _I want to scream. _I've changed my mind! This isn't real! I don't need to do this. I'll trip over my own hair when I run as a wolf, that's okay. I can deal with it. Stop, stop, STOP! _

I keep my mouth shut. _I have to do this._

She grabs the comb and makes sure everything is lined up.

_STOP! I don't want this!_

Without blinking, I'd assume (Leah doesn't seem to hesitate at anything, or at least not with this), she starts cutting (carelessly, it felt like, the scissors just glide through my hair, my beautiful hair...), hacking off everything below my shoulders. My stomach aches.

_If I'm going to turn into a fucking wolf... _My hands start to shake. _I can't do this now. Can't, can't, can't..._

She's fast. _Snip, snip, snip-snip..._

_WHY? Why did this have to happen?_

She slows a bit, taking more care when it came to getting it okay around my chin. She cuts it a bit lower than my chin, probably to compensate for when it dries.I imagine writing an FML story for this. "Today, I learned that turning into a wolf with long-ass hair is most uncomfortable. I had to cut said long-ass hair, said _gorgeous_ hair, and will now be ugly forever. FML." How shallow did that sound?

When Leah finally is done, I am dead to the world. Mostly.

"Earth to newbie... your torment is over."

_No, it's just begun._

From the corner of my eye, I see her looking in the mirror. She huffs, before turning the faucet on and... dunking her head under it?

Perplexed, more like distracted, I watch as she rinses her hair, takes the scissors scissors, the same scissors that had just ruined my dream of looking gorgeous for graduation, and goes to work on trimming the ends of her own hair. At least... at least I'm not alone in this.

"See? It gets easier."

_It gets easier. I hope so._

"Alright. Well, now you can go to your halfprint for comfort." There is an unspoken end: _that's more than what I had._

"Thanks." I have an unspoken end to that, too: _I'm sorry. For whatever it is that you're referencing._

"No problem." If she got it, I'll never know.

I do, in fact, go to my "halfprint" for comfort. He's really good at that – comforting, I mean – I am starting to find out.

Nervously, I stand before him, emotionally naked, vulnerable, with the lack of weight on my head. I might as well be bald, for how light my hair (or lack thereof) feels now.

He still looks at me like he had before, his eyes filled with that intense, endless devotion. It hurts as much as it heals.

And when he runs his hands through my shorn hair, kisses the silent tears that betray me and are running down my cheeks, and whispers: "You're beautiful."

...I almost believe him.

* * *

A/N: Yeah, this one's a short one, but a meaningful one for miss Shoshana. Anyway, there was a ridiculously short wait time between these two chapters so... FORGIVE THE SHORTNESS, I compel youuu...! o_o

By the way, I almost misspelled "chapter six." as "chapter sux." Hahaha. Hopefully the chapter does not suck, that would have been an interesting omen, though. DIS CHAPTER SUX, YO. D:

**Revised on 10/12/2010. **Fleshed out stuff, fixed the weird past-tense issue that crept in unexpectedly, and added a few hundred words to boot! Chapter eight is COMING SOON, I promise!

Thanks jojostar for the review on the last chap.


	7. life is moving at a breakneck pace

**like a dream, like a sigh**

chapter seven.

Embry is totally fucking awesome.

He made me a sandwich.

"You'll learn that a way to a werewolf's heart is through his – their – stomach," Embry says this with a broad grin while watching me eat. Which... is a little creepy, I'm not gonna lie. But what with the way he had stuck right by me ever since I walked out of that bathroom, I am well aware that if I don't mirror his joy he'll be positively crestfallen. Not that it's a struggle, of course... This handsome boy has a smile that could make _anyone_ smile, I am sure of it. And he's using it on _me,_ _for_ me. Cue melting into a puddle of goo here.

I could have scarfed the sandwich down in one bite, but I wouldn't want to be rude, plus it wouldn't be a very flattering thing. Man, it is _really_ awkward having someone watch your every move when you're chewing or swallowing, just eating in general. Even more so to have to try and hide that it's affecting you.

Waiting until I had swallowed the bite I'd been chewing on, I hedge: "Aren't _you_ hungry?"

He pauses, considering the question. "I think I'll make one for me. Want another one?"

"Er, no. One'll be fine." _I think._ I am awfully hungry. "No thanks," I quickly amend, having forgot my manners. I look at Leah as a thought struck me. "How do you guys work?"

"What?"

"I mean... like, for jobs... school, even. Isn't it... hard?"

"Yeah. But we're the Tribe's 'Protectors.'" She shrugs, "I guess that's supposed to be our main job. Some of us work, _some_," she sends a most un-sneaky glance toward the kitchen, where Embry is, "don't. We mooch off of our parents," she gestures to the house around us. "I work part-time, though, so I guess I'm not a complete deadbeat."

"I'm not a deadbeat!" Embry grumbles. I can hear him slathering something on something, but I figure I'll learn the specific sounds of things later. I feel like I can hear... anything.

"How far do our... I swear I can hear better, _see_ better."

"Newbie, I'm not good at explaining things." I think she's been doing just fine. She is honest, that much I can tell. That's all that's necessary. "But it's awesome, yeah?" I nod once, not sure if she'll continue. "We're strong, too. You and I won't be as strong as any of the guys, dummies that they often are, sexual dimorphism and all that. God! You're such a kid!" I flush, staring very, very hard at the other half of my sandwich. She scofs, before calling to Embry, "She's got you trained good already! _Who_'s the one in the kitchen, makin' sammiches? Hmm?" At my curious glance, the one that followed a subtly-angry one for mocking him: "Now, I know you halfprinted on him and all, but Embry was a different guy before he met you. Eh, who am I kidding? He'll be the same to us, but he's gonna be different for you. So you might not see this side," she shrugs yet again, "but he is a chauvinistic pig."

"What?" Embry's at the doorway to the kitchen, sandwich in hand. "Quit spouting lies, Leah. That was just a joke. A one-time joke. You're corrupting my imprint's perception of me! Shawn-er-Shawn-nuh, don't listen to Leah. Ever."

"Pfft," Leah says, quirking a brow.

"Releasing pressure? Got a buildup of gas in your lungs? You leakin'? That didn't sound good," Embry teases, sitting down at the round oak table where I was at. "I'm not a chauvinistic pig."

"Not to me." I say, a little too quietly.

"What?" He's all concern, damn it all. It'd be so, _so_ easy to just shrug it off, smile, enjoy his company. Leah starts drumming her fingers on the arm of the couch. _Tha-thud-dud-tha-thud-ud-that-thud...thud..._

"It's... nothing." _Embry was a different guy before he met you. _What was that supposed to mean? I'd changed him, somehow? _He'll be the same to us, but he's gonna be different for you._ Different, how? Is it a lie? A mask? _Fate's the Grand Alpha. A command he can't ignore. He's... He's been ordered to _like_ me? _So this... _This isn't even real. _

"Newbie, no phasing indoors. First rule of Leah's House, and pretty much every other house in existence. We've got to get you house-broken." I must be shaking. Why do we shake? It's kind of silly, actually. Maybe we are like rattlesnakes. It's a warning. _Rattle, rattle._

Embry moves to grab my arm, in a comforting way, like he's going to talk me through this. _No. _I can't do this to him. _Embry was a different guy before he met you. _"Different, _how_?" I snarl, probably not making any sense whatsoever. I'm startled by the inhuman sound coming from my very human mouth, so much that my grip (on what? Control? My humanity) slips and I. Have. To. Go. Everything's a blur and yet I see it in perfect clarity, the strange contradiction distracting me for a second as I go flying for the door, bursting through it (Seth must not have closed it all the way) and out onto the grass. My back arches with the strain of not phasing as I manage to linger on two legs for a second.

_Embry was a different guy before he met you. _I have half a mind to pull the shirt over my head, but I don't know if I kicked off the shorts in time for my body to contort and twist for one endless moment, a moment that didn't last long at all. _Embry was a different guy before he met you._

_"What?" _Apparently, I'm alone in phasing right now. _"I had to run a patrol," _whoever it was thought this glumly. _"You don't remember me? I'm hurt! I was there when you first phased!" _He fakes a mind-sob, pretending to be hurt about it.

_Quil? _Hadn't there been an old guy named Quil?

_"Yeah, my grandfather."_ He thinks to me. _"But I'm not that old. You haven't phased as much as I thought you would... Maybe it's Embry?"_

_What about him? _I can still hear Leah. _Embry was a different guy before he met you. _I can't outrun those words, not on two legs, not even on four, try as I might as I race through the forest.

_"Well, yeah, he was a different guy. That's what imprinting _does._" _The words, that could have been bitter, are joyous.

_You've imprinted. _It's not a question, though it could have been. I speed up, desperate to burn off this endless supply of energy I have, using the exercise as a way to try and calm down. Someone else being around, someone other than Embry, or even Leah, is a nice distraction.

_"Yup." _Instantly, I am assaulted with visions of a child, with thick, black hair laughing and giggling and_ living_. _"She just turned six a few weeks ago."_

_You imprinted on a child? _He feels no shame, using memories and feelings to show that there's no need. _That's... wow._

_"Jacob imprinted on a child, too. 'Cept she's a half-vamp and he met her right when she was born."_

I don't even try to mask my shock. _Er... what?_

_"Wild, right? But we're pretty wild ourselves." _He's perfectly happy to be running through the forest on four legs, to have a child as the center of his universe. Well, in a way, I don't think that's a literal thing. I... hope. _"Why wouldn't I be?"_

_But... isn't it... weird? Not having any choice?_

_"Gosh, you sound like Leah." _I nearly trip. _"But... Why fight something so... so... good?"_

_Leah said it was like there's a Grand Alpha, giving an order._

_"Naw, I think it's just fate. Destiny."_

_You remind me of John Locke. A man of faith. _I can't resist.

_"John... who?"_

_You've never seen LOST? _Is this guy for real?

_"...Heard of it. I think Paul used to watch that show."_

_Who's Paul?_

_"He's from the other pack. The one we split off from."_

_Split off from? _I guess I'm all questions today.

_"They wanted to kill Nessie." _Jacob's imprint, he implies. _"Thought she was an abomination, for being half-vampire."_

_Vampires are bad, I take it._

_"VERY BAD. But Nessie's half-human, too. And her family, her coven, they don't kill people. They feed from animals."_

_Bambi?_

_"Ha! You're a true Shapeshifter, thinking that on the ball like that." _He barks a laugh, though it feels odd hearing the sound as if _I_ was the one who laughed, for I'm hearing through his ears through his mind... how's that for weird? _"Anyway. This was all before Jake imprinted, though. He was in love with Bella at the time. Bella, being Nessie's mom."_

_He imprinted on his love's daughter? _This is like some big soap opera!

_"...Erm, yeah. Yeah. I don't... Fate has funny logic. It doesn't play by our rules, obviously."_

_Obviously. _I hadn't been paying much attention to where I was going because I hadn't thought there was much of a need. I have to be the baddest thing in this part of the forest, right? _I wonder how tall I am._

_"Jake's about six-and-a-half feet tall in wolf form." _He was the only one they really bothered to measure, apparently. _"Sixteen feet long."_

_He's Alpha, right?_

_"Right. The boss. Of this pack, anyway. He technically should be Alpha of both packs, too."_

_Really? _I duck to avoid a low-hanging branch, though the pine needles scrap against the top of my shoulder. It doesn't hurt, though, my fur is so thick.

_"Yeah. His great-grandfather was the Alpha of the previous pack. Sam Uley doesn't have that kind of heritage, though his great-grandfather was in that pack, too."_

_So... did everyone have a relative in that pack? It's just a hereditary thing?_

_"Yes and no. There must be a gene or something, everyone seems to have some kind of link to the old packs, but that's not the whole reason for phasing. We phase when vampires are coming. In the beginning Sam, Jared, and Paul phased when the Cullens moved in, and more vamps came and so more wolves phased and... yeah. We thought it was pretty much over. And then... you happened."_

_Gee, thanks._

_"Hey, it's true." _He had a point there. _"Anyway. Jake's bigger and stronger than Sam."_

_You werewolves are superficial. _He ignores that comment.

_"It's not... it doesn't feel right, being separate. I don't know if it ever has. Except for Leah, she really likes not hearing about Sam." _He was her boyfriend? _"He imprinted on Emily, Leah's cousin."_

_Ouch._

_"Yeah. That's probably why she is all weird about you." _That catches my attention.

_She's weird about me?_

_"I dunno. But you're a girlie wolf, just like her, and someone imprinted on you. That kind of kills the theory for the purpose of imprinting."_

_Theory? _I have so much to learn. It's almost discouraging... except it's kind of exciting. A whole other world, right under my nose, and now I could see it for the first time.

_"Sam thought it was about genetics. You imprint on the person who is best suited for carrying on the line."_

_...It's just to make babies? _I don't want to imagine having kids, not at all. I try not to think of my mother, knocked up and promptly abandoned.

_"Leah doesn't... she's not..." _Like any guy, he balks at those thoughts. I get the insinuation easily enough.

_She doesn't menstruate._

_"Eeeeeew."_

_You're a girl._

_"No. I most certainly am not!" _He fake-huffs. _"But if she can't have kids, that explains why Sam couldn't have imprinted on her."_

_I can't have kids? _Well, that'd make it easier. No need for condoms...

_"TOO MUCH INFORMATION! God. We're a pair of gossips, you know that?"_

_Mmmhm._

_"But... now we wonder... why didn't Sam imprint on Leah? They were already together, in love, I guess they were planning on getting hitched."_

_Maybe it wasn't meant to be?_

_"Still. Kinda sucks for Leah, I mean, Emily's her _cousin._ They were real close, I think."_

_I did get some vibes that– _Any potential response is swiftly cut off as I go flying through the air, a dull, quick pain spreading through my side. _Holy shit!_

_"Shoshana?"_

I'm tumbling down some kind of dirt slope before landing hard on my back. _Owwwwww._ A growl rumbles through the air, a flash of movement dashes across my vision as I try and regain equilibrium, then I'm looking up into another wolf's face. _Er, hi._

_"That's not one of us!" _The wolf is a gray, like Embry and Leah, but more like a median between the two, shade-wise. His has pearly white teeth, I can tell because he's been kind enough to curl his lips back and show me them.

_Not one of... oh, shit! _He'd said there was another pack, hadn't he?_ I thought they were your guys' friends?_

_"We... usually... stay away from each other." _He's confused on if we're enemies or not.

_Great._

My ears are flat against my skull, my eyes are probably bugging out of it, and I'm sure I must have looked absolutely pathetic. _But... couldn't he... hear me?_

_"You only can talk to others of the same pack, in your head, anyway. Jake can talk to Sam selectively, but... we lowly ones can't."_

I whine, my heart is beating so quickly I'm half-worried it's going to burst. Now that I _am_ paying attention to my surroundings, I can hear the fast approach of other wolves. Or I'm assuming they're other wolves. Quil is far away, though he has started running toward me. He throws back his head and howls in alarm, not sure what was supposed to be done or what would happen. The gray wolf above me glances over in that direction, growling again, but quietly.

_"Please, please, someone else phase! Preferably Jacob!" _Quil begs to no one. I'm begging for someone else inwardly.

_Preferably Embry,_ I think, staying flat on my back, belly-up. I've seen dogs assume this position before, when they were outnumbered or were the bottom one on the totem pole. I figure I am at that spot now. It's mostly instinctive, though, for my tail had tucked automatically and I had unthinkingly made myself look as small and pathetic as possible. Which... hadn't been hard, considering how much they dwarf me. _Sexual dimorphism, huh?_

In an instant, what had only been one wolf, big and mean, had suddenly become _three. _Yet another gray and the addition of a hulking black one, who must rival Jacob, who had seemed huuuuge.

_"That'd be Sam!"_

_"What's going on?" _Jacob had phased.

_"Shoshana ended up in.. um... I guess it's their turf."_

_"What?"_

_I wasn't paying attention! I phased and I was running and I was talking to Quil and – EEEP! _The grey one who had me pinned, well, not physically - he hadn't touched me – but I certainly wasn't going to move when he was standing over me, backs off. The snarl remains in place on his face, so I stay where I am. _Don'tkillmedon'tkillmedon'tkillme! I'm too young to die! _I squeeze my eyes shut, bracing myself for...

...

...

...

Nothing happens.

I crack an eye open. The black one is still where he had, looking at me... intently? The medium-sized grey (the one who had shown up with the black one) is looking from him and me, his eyes darting back and forth. He looks more confused than anything else. The other grey, the one that had seen me first, starts pacing by the trees. Weird, how I had been able to tell their genders just by breathing. By... smelling?

They all tense suddenly, all pairs of ears pricking forward. I listen, straining to hear... Someone _else_ is approaching.

_"Me." _Jacob was on his way, having been closer to where I am than Quil is.

The reddish-brown wolf comes springing out from behind the bushes, landing gracefully a few feet from me.

A few startled growls erupt from the other wolves and they reflexively jump back as if thinking he would attack. Jacob fixes his attention to the large black one. _"Sam."_

_"Jacob. What is the meaning of this?" _"Sam's" voice is strong, but something inside me still thinks Jacob seems strong_er_.

_"She's new. She wasn't paying attention to where she was going and stumbled into Paul, apparently."_

_"New?"_

_"Yes. She phased yesterday evening." _A pause. It's weird, hearing his voice (in Jacob's mind, but we could tune in easily enough), but not hearing the thoughts that go with them.

_"And she's one of yours?" _God, it sounds like he is talking about a harem or something. Jacob flicks his tail at me in a halfhearted scolding way, a movement that the other three wolves follow with a jerk of their head and a lowering of their brows. They all act so similar.

_"Yeah."_

Cautiously, I sloowwwly roll over, making no quick movements. When I don't get anyone going for my throat, I pull myself up, struck by how fucking short I am compared to everyone else. At least I'm not the shaggy wolf anymore.

_"Oh! You got a haircut!" _Quil peeks into Jacob's mind, trying to see what I look like. _"Much better."_

_Thanks._

_"What's going on?" _Embry is in all-out-panic-mode, his mind a shattered turmoil as he keeps cursing Leah, for whatever reason.

_Embry!_

_"I knew it! I should have followed you! Should've, should've, should've!"_

_"Embry! You need to – whoa, was there a party and I didn't even get invited? Sheesh. After everything I do for –" _Leah bursts into the scene, mentally, that is, a bit put off by the fact so much seems to be going on. Without hesitation, she plunges herself into the shared mind of the pack, trying to discern what is going on.

_"A pup phased and went into _your_ pack?" _Sam is oblivious to the entrance of Leah and Embry.

_"Sam?" _Leah is stunned. I'm lost in the babble of voices. I don't even know who's talking and I tune out the new abundance of questions.

_"Shoshana ran into Paul. Sam and Jared showed up, then I called Jake and he's over there now." _Quil manages to squeeze it all into that and, he is sure to broadcast, he is very pleased with himself.

_"Yeah." _Jacob replies, mostly ignoring Embry and Leah. Embry is racing to catch up, but I guess I'd run quite a ways while chatting with Quil.

_"You were chatting with Quil?" _He wonders why I couldn't chat with _him._ The jealousy is palpable. It's almost cute.

_"Dude, I'm not interested. No offense, Shoshana. By the way, do you have a nickname? Shoshana's a mouthful."_

_Sho's fine. Or Shana._

_"'Kay, Shana."_

Embry snarls, torn between finding Quil and biting his ear off or running to protect me. I guess I am higher on his priorities, because he stays on course for me.

_"You're always going to be number one," _before I can even think to enjoy the romanticness of that statement, Sam "speaks" again.

_"So pups choose you now." _I don't appreciate being called a pup. Embry doesn't, either, then, by default.

That irritates Jacob, _"No. She probably just was... closer to us."_

_"Tell him." _Leah thinks, suddenly, still a little ways a way, neck-and-neck with Embry. She won't pass him, subconsciously wanting some backup, any backup. _"Tell him that Embry imprinted on her."_

_"Why?" _Jacob thinks back, not sure of the relevance.

_"Because Sam is a douchebag. And weak. And stupid. And–"_

_"Leah. Get to the point."_

_"That _was_ the point. He could have imprinted on _me._ But he didn't."_

_"Leah..."_

_"Tell him. His theory's wrong."_

_"Emby imprinted on her." _He tells Sam this, inwardly hoping he's not screwing up. The shock is evident on Sam's face, and, not a split-second later, the other two wolves', too.

_"On another wolf?"_

_"That's what I said, yeah." _Jacob doesn't project that. Instead: _"Yes."_

They, the other wolves, who I know now to be Sam, Jared, and Paul, look at me. Uncomfortable, I back up a step.

_"Not much longer." _Embry promises, beside himself with anxiety that he wasn't there.

_"They used to be our brothers." _Quil points out, wondering why we are treating them like an enemy. _"Why can't we put the past behind us?"_

_That _gets Jacob's attention. _"They wanted to kill Nessie."_

_"You did, too, remember?" _Jacob flinches visibly. Sam looks at him curiously, his gaze speculative.

Embry comes bursting out of the forest, Leah at his heels (somehow he managed to speed up for the last leg), flying through the air and leaping in front of me. His hackles bristle as he side-steps into me, trying to push me back. Annoyed that his sheer size was enough to completely hide me from their view (not that I wanted them to see me, but I didn't like being pushed out of the picture), I growl. He gives me a wounded look over his shoulder, as if I've committed the ultimate betrayal.

_"You imprinted on a wolf?" _Sam is in shock, thinking to Embry.

_"I did." _Embry thinks this vehemently, and curls his lip at Paul, recalling my memory of him growling at me. Jacob allows that thought to go through to Sam, whose ears flick back. He looks so unsure.

Leah assumes her position at Jacob's right shoulder.

_"She's Beta." _Quil supplies again. Embry is instantly pissed at him all over again. He's decided it's _his_ job to explain things to me, because _I'm_ his _imprint_ and, therefore, more important to _him_ than _anything_ else and _Quil is trying to interfere with that. _

_"YOU COULD HAVE IMPRINTED ON _ME_!" _Leah lunges without any warning, snarling, but Jacob intercepts (barely), and shoves her back toward Embry and me with his body. Sam ducks his head a bit, looking at the grey female mournfully. _"BUT YOU DIDN'T, YOU FUCKER. You didn't! Because you're weak!" _

Nervously, I step forward to be closer to Embry, leaning against his shoulder as I try to worm my way a bit more forward. He doesn't budge, but felt almost-vindicated that I'd sought comfort from him, _"not Quil,"_ but also more angered at the others for _"putting her through this shit."_

_I'm not made of glass. _I try, but it's not very convincing when I'm pushing myself against him.

Leah glances over to us, imagining that our colors are switched for a second. Me, the grey one, him, the black one. _"That could have been us." _

_"Lee-lee." _

_"YOU HAVE NO SHAME YOU STUPID, WEAK-ASS, DOUCHE!" _Again, Leah goes to attack him, and again, Jacob goes to block her, but she was faster this time.

_"LEAH!" _Apparently taking it as some kind of invitation to fight, Paul launches himself at Embry, the closest one of us. As he bowls an unsuspecting Embry over, he also bowls _me_ over. We are suddenly a rolling tangle of limbs, with me panicking and Embry cussing up a storm. And Paul? Well... I'm not in his head. I don't know what he's thinking, but he seems pretty intent on a fight and a fight he seems to be getting.

Not missing a beat, Embry had jumped up, going for the base of Paul's neck, sinking his teeth in the area between the grey wolf's shoulder. Paul is burlier than Embry, though a fraction shorter. He bites down, hard, on Embry's foreleg, and the resulting _crunch_ sends a wave of nausea through me, followed by a good dose of rage.

Unthinkingly, I pounce. He hadn't been expecting me, a girl, to jump into the fray, apparently. I go for him head-on, meeting teeth with teeth, slicing at his lip, cheek, then ripping into his ear. He slashes at the air, but I am smaller, quicker and dodge his fangs easily. Embry pushes his weight into Paul's side, which, combined with me keeping him busy, is enough to knock him down. Embry and I are ready to jump on him and –

_**"STOP."**_ We all stop at Jacob's loud command. All of us. _All of us._

Leah has Sam pinned by the throat, standing over him. It's almost comical, what with how much bigger Sam is compared to her, and how he is totally submitting, unable to bear the thought of hurting _Lee-lee. _He wants_ "nothing more than to hear her voice again, hear her in the pack's link, to apologize over and over again, make her _feel_ what I have felt, how sorry I am and have been. Leah, if only you understood. I loved you more than anything else."_

Surprise, from all of us.

_"Sam?" _Leah freezes, staring down at him in unhidden shock.

_"Leah?"_

_"Am I the only one lost?" _Quil asks, to which I reply with _No!_

_"I'm... pretty fucking confused, too." _Someone thinks, who, through the other's thoughts, is identified as Paul. Whose... face... I'd just been biting at. _"You're a _bitch._ But damn."_

Embry trembles with the strain to not finish what he'd started, but Jacob's command holds firm. I take a step away from Paul's face (Paul's teeth, more specifically), taking a step closer to Embry in the process, who is frozen, still poised to flip Paul over and go for his throat. I nudge his shoulder. He releases a breath he hadn't known he was holding, and backs off. Trying to calm, he nuzzles against the ruff of my neck.

_"If we can hear each other..." _I'm not sure what Jared had been doing, for he was now standing awkwardly near Sam and Leah, having been unsure of if he should interfere or not this whole time. He is scared to even finish his own thought.

_"Something changed." _Jacob announces, looking at us all.

_"Leah..." _Sam whimpers brokenly, unmoving.

_"You stepped down?" _Paul is shocked, Jared even more so.

Leah, more confused than anything else, stalks away from Sam, returning to her position by Jacob's shoulder, her nerves raw and frayed.

_"I wanted to hear her again." _Sam's thoughts seem slow and resigned.

_"How the heck does that translate to uniting the pack?" _Quil is dangerously close to being happy about all of this as he peeks from around a tree he'd apparently been hiding behind.

_"Wimp." _Paul says, but if it was aimed at Quil or Sam, I am not sure.

_"Is this permanent?" _Jacob wonders.

_"I can't do it anymore," _Sam thinks this with a great sigh, _"This has never been right. Pups phase into your pack... if that's not a declaration of which leader is right, I don't know what is."_

_"How the hell is that a declaration that I'm right?" _Jacob is _angry_ about this. His tail lashes out at the air behind him and he wishes Nessie was around. The feeling of disgust at the thought of the half-vamp on Sam's part serves to irritate him further. _"She's my imprint."_

_"I know. I know. These last two imprints have... they have been shocking. A wolf and a dhampir, a wolf and a wolf." _His gaze flickers over to Embry and me and soon he, too, is imagining that the colors are switched. It's kind of annoying, like there's something _wrong_ about us. That we're not _right_. Embry's growl cuts those thoughts short and I press my nose against his cheek, looking into his eyes.

_Chill._

_"I'm still wondering how this happened." _Paul says, sitting up, not without shooting a glance at Embry in case he tries anything again. Embry has zero interest now, content that things _seem_ to be stabilizing.

_"Will it last?" _Quil wonders.

_"Do we want it to?" _Jacob thinks, the question generalized to all of us, but it still seems mostly aimed toward Sam.

_"A pack cut in half is no pack at all," _Sam thinks resolutely, standing up to look into Jacob's eyes. _"I can feel it, you must as well. Things have changed. I am not the Alpha..." _He pauses, thinking of a pregnant Emily, a thought that stings Leah. _"And I'm okay with that."_

_"But what of everyone else?"_

_"We've all missed you guys. Even Paul." _Sam replies. A few snicker at that, followed by a short growl from Paul, but he doesn't deny it.

_"This is a lot to take in." _Jacob is not sure of the added responsibility, worried about the other pack's stance on the Cullens (as in, barely tolerated), but at the same time...

_"If new wolves are phasing, we can ill afford to not be a united front, Jacob. Who knows what is coming if fate deems it necessary for more wolves to phase?" _Sam points out, preying on Jacob's wavering thoughts.

_"One. Only one has phased." _Jared points out. _"Maybe it's not a big deal."_

_"But we didn't all phase at the same time." _Jacob returns, following Sam's train of thought. _"More vampires are on the way."_

_"And they might not be like your Cullen friends." _Paul thinks, though he dpesn't even really care much about them as long as they didn't mess with Rachel. Jacob looks at him oddly. Embry let me know that Rachel is Jacob's sister.

_Oh. That's interesting. _Curious, I look (up, I'll grudgingly admit) into Embry's dark eyes. _Please tell me she's not another baby._

He grins at me, reclining back upon his haunches. _"Fortunately for Paul, no."_

_"No kidding." _Paul laughs.

_"I don't think this will be too bad." _Quil hopes, flopping down on his belly.

_"Quil, you lazy ass..." _Embry teases, though there's no venom to it. Quil still takes offense, but he doesn't want to _spoil the mood. _

Sam looks at Jacob, wondering. The Alpha considers everything for a second, before smiling. _"You know what? I don't think it will be too bad, either. With luck."_

_"With luck," _the ex-Alpha bows his head, and we all erupt into joyous howls.

* * *

A/N: Don't let the light note at the end fool you, more pack drama is to come~  
This was the longest chapter I've done yet. Please tell me you're proud of me XD

**Revised 10/12/10. **Added over 800 words, redid the very end, and returned to current tense. Next chapter shouldn't be long now...

Thank you very much, compa16, for the kind review. (: Glad you can deal with the shortness, haha.

Thanks to jojostar as well for the review!


	8. all mine

**like a dream, like a sigh**

chapter eight.

If this is not your first time reading this story, please go back and reread chapter five, six, and seven! I added 2k+ words and made revisions.

A pack meeting was arranged for the evening.

Seth's return home had been comical.

After berating him for getting a low score on a quiz, Leah demanded he study more right then and there. Of course, she revised her statement and said he'd have to do it later tonight, _after_ the pack meeting.

"What pack meeting? Hey, why are you still here, Embry? Are you –"

"The pack's united again."

"If you – wait, what?" Seth looked at her, his brow wrinkled in confusion. "What do you mean, 'united?' When were we divi–wait, what? You mean... _The_ pack?"

"There's just one now." Leah nodded.

"But... wow. Wow." I set the soda I had been sipping on back on the coffee table and leaned against Embry. Seth followed this movement with curious eyes, turning them to Embry. "When did _you_ get a girlfriend?"

"He imprinted. But that's... actually just a sidenote right now. The pack meeting is so we can re-establish... the hierarchy and all that fun shit."

"Are you still gonna be Beta?" I asked, before worrying that I was butting in.

"Dunno."

"Do you want to be?" Seth's gaze kept ping-ponging between Embry and me and Leah. "You imprinted? On –"

"A shape-shifter. Yes. But this is going to be important. You can't skip out –"

"–I'm not going to –"

"– 'cause if you do I'mma kick your ass. Anyway... it's..." Leah looked at the clock on a shelf by the television. "Probably time to go. That includes you two lovebirds, couch-hijackers that you are."

That is the epic story of why Embry, Leah, Seth, and I are currently en route to the specified meeting place: a decent-sized clearing deep in the forest and far away from any hiking trails or remote cabins. The forest had always been a minor detail to me, sure, it surrounds La Push, but it was just a forest that was only accessible in some parts. But now... it feels like no place is unreachable, like I could go _anywhere_ on these paws of mine. Weird as it feels to have _paws_, of all things, aside.

_"You'll get used to it." _Seth speeds up, looking at me. _"You're like a miniature Sam!"_

_What? _I don't like being called a "miniature" anything and Leah doesn't appreciate the reference to Sam.

_"You're gonna have to get used to _that_," _Embry points out, but not unkindly. Leah sighs.

_"Sup, Embry, Seth, Leah, Pup...?" _A voice I don't recognize speaks as a tan-gray wolf comes bounding out of the shadows. A larger white wolf soon appears at that one's shoulder, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Excitement is pouring off of the pair in waves.

_Shoshana. _

_"Sho... Sho..."_

_Show-Shawn-UH._

_"Okay... Show-Shawn-UH." _The white one snickers.

_"I'm Brady." _The tannish wolf says, trotting toward us, all confidence and what he probably thinks is charm. _"Hey!" _I recognize his name. He's Katie's brother, but he'd disappeared some time ago. Katie had been real upset about it, too, but now I find myself more sympathetic to Brady. He swallows loudly, thinking of his sister.

_"I'm Collin, the better one." _

_"Don't even _think_ about it." _Embry warns, slowing down and speeding up in an instant as to fall behind me and assume a more "advantageous" position to my right instead of my left, effectively boxing me in alongside Seth. _"She's _my_ imprint." _

_"Dude, really?" _They are both disappointed, visibly deflating right before my eyes.

_"You guys are pathetic," _Leah rolls her eyes, loping toward where Jacob is in the center of the clearing. Uncertainty strikes her, for now she is not sure if she's still second-in-command, if she should be the closest to the Alpha. She keeps a pace or two between them.

_"Are we all here?" _Jacob asks, not entirely sure. The pack had grown so much when... I am instantly confused. I catch something about a "newborn vampire army?"

_"It was pretty insane." _Collin says, padding towards me, though Embry cuts him off.

_Embry. _I glare at him. _I'm not a scrap of meat to fight over, jeez. _Again, he gives me one of those wounded looks and I apologize instantly.

_"Give it up, Col," _Brady says, looking wistfully in Leah's direction. _"That one's taken." _

_"Shit, man, she's waaay out of your league. Not to mention –"_

_"Don't even think about it, kiddos." _Leah snarls, pinning her venomous gaze on the two guys who slink away.

_"Miles, Kent, and Ryder haven't shown up yet. They hang out a lot, I'm sure it won't be long." _Sam finally responds to Jacob after slipping deeper into the mind-link for a second.

_Ugh. So many names to learn... Kent and Ryder seem familiar._

_"My brothers." _Brady supplies.

_"You'll do fine," _Embry assures me, nudging my shoulder.

_"That's nauseating," _someone complained. _"I'm nice, I'll tell you my name. I'm Jeremy Trout."_

_Don't know ya, but hi._

_"That's my brother Zach. The brownish one by the light gray one, who is Tanner." _I look around. _"Them." _I nod, seeing the two wolves. They're a bit lighter in weight, it looks like, than some of the others. Younger, maybe.

_"Yo." _The brownish one, Zachary Trout, nods back at me before looking away. Tanner, Tanner Bradley, looks at me. For whatever reason, I have the reflex to glance at my paws.

_"That's dominance for you." _Tanner says, grinning. He ducks his head at Embry's glare, though.

_"Whassup, dudes? And... dudettes! Sweet! There are girls now!" _A voice – I learn it's Miles Hansen – practically shouts in all of our "mind-ears." _"Kent and Ryd aren't far behind me."_

_"Not far at all!" _Kent says.

_"We're not far from the meetup spot. We decided to see if the truck would handle a little off-roading!" _Ryder is still a bit amped up from it.

_"Did it work?" _Tanner asks.

A silver wolf, Miles, comes leaping out and into the clearing. He's tall, not close to Jacob or even Sam, but still noticeably tall. Embry doesn't appreciate me "checking him out." _"Nah, the junker crapped out on us pretty quick. We spent most of the time trying to pull it out of a lake."_

_A... lake?_

_"Yup!" _He sounds pretty proud, too, and shoots me a big smile. Embry is like a broken record, what with all the glares and growls he was sending at _everyone_ who was looking at me. I remember one of the guest speakers in Health class, talking about abusive boyfriends. Embry is consumed with horror at the insinuation. I can still hear the woman: _"The bad ones will try and cut you off from your friends and any potential friends. They want to control–"_

Brady and Collin bust up laughing, followed by a few others.

_"Sho? Really? I-I-I was just... I only –" _His frantic pleas are sheer torture! Apologetic, I try and reassure him that no, I don't think he's –

_"Alright. Time to... get started." _Jacob interrupts, tired of waiting. Nessie was waiting for him, after all. She'd wanted to come with, apparently, she was so curious about the pack, but he'd (wisely) said no. It had nearly killed him to do it. _"I am Alpha." _This is fact as we all know, but he wanted to establish it. There is no doubting the raw power that surrounds him, though, no doubt that he is now the source of the pull we have to the area, to La Push, to each other. No one, even briefly, considers contesting this. It is Truth. _"As for Beta..." _He looks to Leah, mostly out of habit.

_"Leah's been a good Beta," _Seth is certain Leah should be Beta.

Jared has no interest in challenging her, remembering her well-driven insults of the past and the way she'd had Sam pinned down. _"Kim and I are settling down more. I don't need a position of power, really."_

_"I can say the same for me and Emily. I gave up my role as Alpha for a reason." _Leah tries vainly to hide the flutter in her chest at his voice, for the feeling of being near Sam again. She longs, oh, she longs... Without realizing it, I take a step toward her. She looks at me and I worry she might be angry, but her expression is unreadable. I don't move.

_"Leah remains Beta." _Jacob waits to see if there is any objections, but none arise. _"As for third... we don't have a name for that... what's the next letter in the Greek alphabet?" _Jacob wishes Nessie were here, 'cause she'd certainly know. I'm not sure how, but Jacob seems pretty convinced of that fact.

_"Delta?" _Someone tries, someone named Aaron. Aaron Little.

_"Nah," _Quil says, proud that he's about to be right. _"It's actually –"_

Embry catches the thought: _"Gamma!" _

_"Hey! You jerk!" _

_"Gamma it is." _Jacob isn't going to sit around and wait for them to squabble over who thought of it first, he decides. I find myself longing for french fries, only to realize it's actually Collin, who gives a wolfy, but guilty, smile to me when I look at him. My attention is stolen when Jacob looks toward Sam. _"You were a good Alpha... I may not have agreed with some of your choices, but..." _That's, what I'm finding out, a great understatement. _"I do believe you are still a powerful wolf here. If something were to happen to me, Leah would take my place, you could be Beta." _Leah isn't so sure about the prospect, of Sam possibly being her Second, but she's honestly not sure who else would be.

_"If there are no challengers, I would accept this role." _Sam says, avoiding Leah's gaze.

A moment passes, then two. Just when everyone thinks it's settled, Embry takes a step forward, much to my (and everyone else's) surprise.

_"You separated me from my best friend, Sam." _

_Embry!_

_"That was a long time ago, Embry." _Sam pivots to face Embry, uncertainty evident in his posture. Embry, on the other hand, is utterly full of himself, as far as I am concerned. _"Is it of importance now?"_

_Embry! _I try again, but a glance from Jacob keeps me from trying to stop him. Miserable, I am helpless to do anything but watch.

_"I'm not some high school kid anymore." _That comment stings. Am I just some high school kid to him? His resolve wavers, but only for a second. He straightens. _"I, for one, don't think you are so deserving of a high rank."_

Quil, like me (and quite a few others), is getting more and more anxious by the second.

Sam is honestly shocked at the insult, quickly turning to anger. _"Are you sure you wish to do this?"_

_"Pretty damned sure." _Embry shoots back, stalking forward. I worry about his leg, the one Paul had fractured with his teeth earlier. Sam latches onto this thought, much to my horror, studying Embry's front legs for a moment. They are then both still, staring at each other, testing to see if either will step down before it becomes a physical fight. My heart is in my throat.

With what would usually be categorized as without warning, but for some reason it doesn't quite feel that way, they both lunge.

I scream.

* * *

Only somewhat luckily for me, my not-so-tough outburst is easily drowned out by the quick roar of the two clashing males. The air is sucked out of my lungs the second they, my "halfprint" and the former Alpha, meet.

Embry is smaller than Sam, not as bulky, but that lends him some speed on the larger male. Or at least more agility. He launches himself more toward the ground, going for Sam's legs, his teeth ripping through the other wolf's shoulder and upper leg just as Sam sinks his teeth into Embry's back. The pain of them both is spread through the bond to us all, but it is Embry's that I feel the most. I bury myself into it unthinkingly, unable to think of anything but Embry's pain as they fight. My back feels like it's on fire, even though there is nothing actually wrong with me.

My legs buckle beneath me as they wrestle in the grass, but I can't let go, I can't.

I don't watch. Instead, I squeeze my eyes shut and struggle to maintain my composure, a slave to the pain. Inside I'm screaming, retreating into the bond between Embry and I. It could have been seconds, it could have been hours – I had no way of keeping track – but everything seems to have fallen silent, even the pounding in my ears.

Slowly, I open my eyes and look at the scene before me.

Embry, bloodied and battered, stands over an equally-bloody Sam, his lips curled into a ferocious snarl. He's looking positively animalistic; the image of unadulterated aggression.

Their gazes are still locked on one another and the intensity is unlike anything I've ever seen. Finally, Sam submits. He goes limp and exhales, while his eyes slide shut.

The resulting silence is deafening, impossibly quiet but impossibly loud, abuzz with the stunned expressions everyone is wearing and the tension of a universally held breath.

He looks to Jacob and something silent is exchanged, even to the pack's bond, for it is something beyond thought, beyond even the subconscious. It is something inhuman, on a truly primal level. He looks then to Leah, who stares back at him with unmasked disbelief. I rise to my feet, shedding the illusion of wounds I'd never had, and Embry looks at me, finally, triumph in his eyes.

I walk to him, a strange sense of nervousness gnawing at me. He closes the distance, resting his head against my face, and the overwhelming sense of warmth that his closeness brings effectively chases the anxiety away.

By some freaking fluke, he'd won. And he was _mine. _All mine. I'd never been so sure of anything in my life. _Embry..._

* * *

A/N: Long time no see, huh, guys? A bit more than a month since the last chapter. Life's a bitch, it was out of my hands, that's my excuse. I do apologize, though. Hopefully, you enjoyed this chapter and (if I can be so fortunate) it was worth the wait. Of course, if it wasn't, I'm open to constructive criticism, as always.

Originally, I was going to have Sam have the number 3 position, but... Embry, apparently, had other ideas. ;)

Much thanks to **compa16**, **jojostar**,** lucysmith**, and** microcheese** for reviewing the last chapter! YOU GUYS are the _only_ reason why this chapter was written! Thank you!


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